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I Became the Woman I Used to Think Was Boring

I used to think I knew what fulfillment felt like. That is almost funny now. I had experienced pleasure. Obsession. Attention. Novelty. Desire. The electric little religions of being admired, wanted, entertained, stimulated. I had mistaken intensity for depth so many times that I thought the two were synonymous. I thought I was full. I…

What If Some of Your Healing Is Actually Making You More Self-Absorbed?

There is a strange thing that can happen when you spend years trying to heal. You begin with, Why does this hurt? Then: Where did this come from? What are my triggers? What are my boundaries? What does my nervous system need? These are good questions. Necessary questions, sometimes. But eventually, your entire life can…

God Never Promised Me Comfortable

There was a time when I thought God was supposed to make my life easier. I didn’t say it quite that plainly. I was more sophisticated than that. I dressed the idea up in spiritual language. I prayed for peace. I prayed for healing. I prayed for restoration. I prayed for the day when my…

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